You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Randomize
