Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
