so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize