I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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