I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
