You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize