A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
