$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
