Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
