Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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