AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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