Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
