Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
