When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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