dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
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It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
just found out that she named her cat after me.
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This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
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