when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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