I accidentally had phone sex last night
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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