If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize