We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
