omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
lol hangovers are for mortals.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
