I think im going to throw up on grandma
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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