New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
There r osticjed everywhere
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
