We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
