Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
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And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
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I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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