dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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