maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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