Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
