Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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