i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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