After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
