whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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