I wish I could teleport
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize