Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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