I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
