Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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