i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
