hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
