I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize