Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on