He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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