If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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