Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch