I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
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