This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu