Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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