i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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