I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
and you fell through a lawn chair
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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