Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
