not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
it's like iHOP with fire
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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