i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
