that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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