dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
