Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
love makes seman taste better
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
