What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
now i know why i became what i already was.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
