is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
