Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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