question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
