so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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