I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize