Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
