Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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