OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
two words...techno handjob
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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